Another birthday has come and gone and you know what I feel? RELIEF. Now, I am not saying I am super pleased with the fact that I am a year closer to 30 (Insert anyone over 30 eye roll) but, I am pleased with how much different my mindset was this birthday compared to last.
I remember being in just a shit mood. I hated that I was another year older, hated everyone that said Happy Birthday to me, and most importantly hated how much I hated everything going on around me. Why was I being such a #debbiedowner on a day where I should be celebrating another year around the sun. A lot of that came down to my relationship with food at the time. Last year at this time I was with my first nutrition coach. In that year, from June until December I had dropped from 169-153, my lowest weight since high school. Everything started out fine and well but I found it interesting that through the 10 months I had worked with this guy my macros had changed ONCE. Keep in mind my main goal here was performance. I told this guy straight out, I want to place in the top 50 in my region in 2018 and make it to Regionals in 2019 (hah silly me). I was STARVING. At one point I was driving home from the gym with my boyfriend an I remember saying, "Have I been hungry for 6 months straight?" Fast forward to February and there I was still counting every macro and working with the same numbers I have had for months.
I think that this was the root cause of why I had such a bad attitude about my birthday last year. I made my own macro friendly cake that tasted like cardboard and just figured I wouldn't be able to have anything else and make it fit into my day. I came home from work that night and my boyfriend had bought a whole mess of good eats. I tried to hide the fact that I was pissed but, in the end I ended up just saying fuck it. Naturally, following that I felt guilty and terrible which made the whole situation even worse.
It took a along time for me to repair that mindset damage. To be able to not feel guilty for not obeying the rules a few days at a time. Being able to believe that a couple days without tracking wouldn't throw a wrench in my progress. And for realizing that, that whole situation was not 100% on me. My diet was too restrictive and no longer sustainable. That part was on my coach.
Moral of the story is, EAT THE FUCKING CAKE. You should be able to enjoy this day that is dedicated to you to the fullest extent. Don't you dare track macros on your birthday. And if its something you just cant sit with then, just track protein. I ate all the cake on Thursday. And not just some cookie cutter grocery store bought birthday cake either. I had some homemade chocolate bunt cake with chocolate ganache frosting. THE BEST CAKE EVER! And then, on Friday Cameron and I drove to the Dells for a weekend with his family. I ate all the treats and snacks there too. We went on some damn water slides and saw some #creamofthecrop Wisconsinites. I woke up Sunday feeling happy, refreshed and filled with love. Love for my friends and family and more importantly love for MYSELF.
In the grand scheme of things, there are 365 days in a year. Even if you eat like an asshole 60 days out of the year (a solid two months) you are still at a 83% success rate for being on track.
Training was rough Sunday, but the decisions leading up to that were worth it. Now, back to health!
-K
Homemade Pop Tarts
Recipe Makes 6
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 10 Minutes
Pre-heat Oven to 425
Crust Ingredients: 1. 2 Cups Kodiak Cake Buttermilk Mix 2. 1/4 Cup Ghee 3. 3/4 Cup Water Middle Ingredients: This could vary. I used a mixed berry but you could also use bananas with chocolate chips or peanut butter! All you have to do is mash the shit out of whatever you pick for the middle. 3oz Blueberry
3oz Raspberry
3oz Blackberry
Instructions:
1. Roll the dough into 12 even balls, 6 for the bottom and 6 for the top.
2. Form bottom ball into a square
3. Add 2-3 Tbls of your mix
4. Form the second ball into a square and add on the top
5. Pinch the edges with a fork
6. Bake for 10-12 minutes
I think they are just as good without frosting but, if you would like to frost them:
Frosting:
1. 3 Tbls Fat Free Evaporated Milk
2. 1 scoop of Protein Powder
Macros for 1 pastry without frosting:
Total Calories: 287
Protein: 11.1g
Carbs: 36.1g
Fat: 12g
Frosting:
Total Calories: 26
Protein: 4.5g
Carb: 1.5g
Fat: 0.2g